Tan Family Blog

I am often asked how I cope with working in Melbourne while the rest of my family are in Brisbane. While on-call for the hospital over Valentine's Day weekend, I pondered this question again myself. There is no short answer, so read on only if you are interested in the long (but only so slightly longer than absolutely necessary) answer.

I have been working in Melbourne for a year and a half. From a career perspective, I have no regrets; indeed, with the benefit of hindsight, it is most unlikely that I would have secured a public hospital appointment in Brisbane if I had stayed there. Of course, this has placed a strain on my family life, but I am extremely fortunate that Anne and the children have been very supportive throughout this time.

I know of two other doctors who lived separately from their wife and children for an extended period, and both of those families reunited after 12 months (the wives and children moved). Speaking with them has given me heart, knowing that mine is not the only family to endure such hardship. Right now, Anne and I feel that each of us is in the "right" job right now, although neither of us believes this will be permanent.

Over one-and-a-half years, naturally some periods have been more trying than others. In the last two months, though, our family has been closer than ever and there has been substantial progress in the quality of the time we spend together. Also, my work and study schedule has been more family-friendly and I have learned to better separate work life and home life.

Above all, I promised myself that, regardless of the career implications, I would move rather than allow the personal cost to become too great. It is easy to make that commitment, but it requires considerable insight and fortitude to deliver on it. When the time comes, I hope that I possess those qualities!